Check out the news from the launch and be among the first to download Internet Explorer 9. As airlines come up with ever more inventive fees, travelers are figuring out creative ways to avoid them. An appeals court ruled on Monday that Alberto Contador, a three-time winner of the Tour de France, used a performance-enhancing drug when he won the race in 2010. LIVERMORE, CA—Judging by his 18-month-old son's recent cognitive developments, local father Ryan Hardell figures he has about three more months to get drunk, curse, and make cruel jokes before the child begins forming long-term memories. "... Just in time for the holidays, Apple’s fifth Manhattan store opens for business at New York’s world-famous Grand Central Terminal at 10 a.m. on Friday, December 9. The store overlooks the historic Main Concourse and features two Genius Bars, entire rooms dedicated to Personal Setup and Personal Training, and an expert team of 315 employees. Holiday shoppers can test-drive Apple products, attend 15-minute Express workshops, get free technical support, and more. Nation Horrified By Carolina Panthers' Disturbingly Graphic Logo Redesign Apple today announced financial results for its fiscal 2012 first quarter, which spanned 14 weeks and ended December 31, 2011. The Company posted record quarterly revenue of $46.33 billion and record quarterly net profit of $13.06 billion, or $13.87 per diluted share. These results compare to revenue of $26.74 billion and net quarterly profit of $6 billion, or $6.43 per diluted share, in the year-ago quarter. “We’re thrilled with our outstanding results and record-breaking sales of iPhones, iPads, and Macs,” said Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO. “Apple’s momentum is incredibly strong, and we have some amazing new products in the pipeline.” The cuts are part of new austerity measures that Athens must agree on to secure rescue funds from international lenders. Suitcase Spends All Year Looking Forward To Carousel Ride Apple today announced that iPhone 4S will be available in China and 21 additional countries on Friday, January 13. iPhone 4S features Apple’s dual-core A5 chip for fast performance and stunning graphics; an all-new 8-megapixel camera with advanced optics; full 1080p HD-resolution video recording; and Siri, an intelligent assistant that helps you get things done just by asking. “Customer response to our products in China has been off the charts,” said Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO. “With the launch in China next week, iPhone 4S will be available in over 90 countries, making this our fastest iPhone rollout ever.” Wired Magazine reports that Newsstand, a new feature of iOS 5, is “hitting it big with traditional media publishers thanks to its windfall delivery of new digital subscriptions.” Newsstand keeps all app subscriptions for newspapers, magazines, and journals in one convenient place on the iOS 5 home screen and makes it easy to shop for new reading material. Wired cites Conde Nast and The New York Times among publishers seeing large spikes in app subscriptions since Newsstand launched. Republicans will reveal the identity of the Mystery Candidate only after he, or she, wins the election. Talking Trash BOISE, ID—With what he described as "a deep sense of satisfaction," local man David Glean closed his laptop Tuesday after viewing his 98,344th pair of naked breasts, telling reporters he had seen enough bare bosoms in his 32 years to last ... The FDA urges Americans to check out a really weird-looking potato, a suitcase looks forward all year to the carousel ride, and Syria is running dangerously low on citizens to oppress. WASHINGTON—Department of Health and Human Services officials held a press conference Monday to announce that while no studies had been conducted to establish that the practice is unhealthy, people still should not eat candles. The rival Palestinian movements Fatah and Hamas said on Monday that they had formed an interim unity government led by Mahmoud Abbas, the Palestinian Authority president. On Mike Tyson Being Inducted Into WWE Hall Of Fame JACKSONVILLE, FL—Claiming that it "doesn't really make a difference," Jacksonville Jaguars officials announced Saturday they plan to play the 2012 season without a head coach. Even as Mitt Romney tries to fend off the continuing challenge from Newt Gingrich and focus his attention on President Obama, he is now being forced to deal with another rival: Rick Santorum. A 48-year-old West Palm Beach millionaire and polo club founder has adopted his 42-year-old girlfriend in an apparent bid to avoid paying out a wrongful death lawsuit.